The Dragon's Blessing

"the dragon's blessing - this deep understanding that suffering can be transformed and be transformative" ~ Guy Allenby

FIP is all about stress. Cat stress. Human stress - my son and I lost our appetites, stopped eating. I lost my spare tire and gained more under eye bags. Naturally we both got a cold almost immediately. Now I don't believe in God, I don't pray - there were no other adults to support me deeply emotionally; even worse - the vets were out of useful ideas so I was searching the internet until the small hours of the morning. I needed to stay strong for Mishka and for Michael. Plus there was no darn way I was going to let FIP take our health as well. 

So from that spiritual void to calm everyone's panic, ease their pain, and later, to mend a broken heart I reached out for music therapy and meditation. All the wooo hippy junk I wasn't going to bother with when I was younger and life was easy. Certainly not in medical school - I was there to learn about drugs and surgical interventions.

I didn't really believe in the power of the mind until a christmas holiday a few years ago. It just bucketed down, and the family's holiday at Coolum was not the escape to sunny Queensland promised. So while Brisbane flooded and a state of emergence was declared, I retreated to the spa to sauna, sip tea and read Dr. Ian Gawler's biography "the Dragon's Blessing". Studies over the years have increasingly backed up what was at the heart of his healing from 'terminal' sarcoma but much derided at the time and for many years after - meditation. It improves the immune system, critical thinking and memory. With FIP I needed all of these things for each of us FAST without heading for a pill bottle. Music of the right frequency was a shortcut to moving our minds into the zone. There's an abundance of suitable music for free on youtube. It far exceeded my hopes for keeping Mishka comfortable and everyone calm during any therapy. Since she was a highly strung cat and we were all empathically wired in together, one buzz in the wrong direction could wind us all up. We even found one track that reliably sent her and my son to sleep quickly. I have kept adding to the playlist now and then for pleasure. It's unintentionally chronicled a mental healing with the tone of the tracks becoming brighter over time.

 Other resources

Dr. Hedy Kober, a neuroscientist at Yale talks about how she began practising meditation to mend her broken heart.

Other resources I collected along the way are on the support and solace webpage. The most amazing was the facebook community - please also check that out and find what blessings you can as you face FIP.

Leap of Faith

"Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it." - Tori Amos

I wrote this just before Mishka died on Feb 1st but I've decided to post it unchanged. Update: a few edits and see the comment from Dusty's mum below!
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Dusty is the reason we are treating Mishka. Dusty survived wet FIP of the lungs in part thanks to injections of feline interferon and oral prednisone in 2007. I first wrote about him in a post about Hope http://onecatlife.blogspot.com/2012/10/hope-is-black-swan.html

Virbac sent me the case history and amazingly here was a cat I could believe in because I knew the vet practice in Sydney (I think my mum even took our old cat there on occasion. Chloe was a stray my brother took in who lived to be 17 on a commercial diet without ever getting regular vaccinations btw)  so I phoned the vet, Simon Craig who verified the cat was still kicking and had made it off the interferon. Based on Dusty's outcome we did the math and decided we could afford the treatment on the basis of expecting a dead cat or a cure in a little over two weeks - but there you have it, each case is unique and Mishka has not progressed as well - but she's not dead either, so the budget is completely blown by five months worth of extra drugs. We have apparently converted an acute illness into a chronic one - as allopathic medicine does so well.

Possibly due to her more advanced disease ( she has abdominal FIP as well) her own genetic challenges (she is a Birman, Dusty is a Scottish Fold) or that two week delay or not using the steroids first up. Dr Addie does mention in her wet fip case study, which I only recently read, that the wet FIP response to FOI is higher for cats with FIP of the lungs, and doesn't seem to work as well on abdominal FIP.

My suspicion is this is because abdominal FIP can be cryptic for longer in that area without causing distress. Mishka had abdominal fluid for a few weeks to a month perhaps before we knew she was sick.

It wasn't until her lungs really filled up that we rushed to the vet. Perhaps she was also dehydrated somewhat and thirstier than usual. Here she is the night before, mucking about and looking ok:

She may have been sick for much longer as the earliest signs are so hard to detect as abnormal, if indeed they were - she started being more sleepy (thought that was natural as a cat growing older and not being a kitten any longer), more cuddly and purry - well she got to know us and that's a nice thing, she was very hungry and insisted on 4 am snacks - well she's a growing cat. She got so chubby she was stuck in her cat door - that was cute (ok my son had at that stage twigged something was up. "mum Mishka is not a cat anymore" ? "Definition of a cat - fits anywhere the head fits" ??!!! )

Definition of a cat - fits anywhere the head fits

 Mishka's Leap of Faith

 
and so we followed the example of Dusty. I feel like a cartoon character that's headed over the cliff - can't stop running to look down now or gravity will reassert itself. Hoping to make it to the other side on pure momentum. Courage kitty - leap!

Die another day - Toby and 0029

"I'm checking out. Thanks for the Kiss of Life." ~ James Bond (Die Another Day)

oh heck - just as the rest of her seems to be rallying kitty has a 'funny lump' under the skin which is possibly getting bigger. The vet is ignoring it strenuously and I'm not thinking straight - perhaps I should have jumped on it last week and investigated while she was under for the drain. The thing neither of us want to face is the prospect of a malignancy.

Seems she is simply dying more slowly, as our vet puts it - or living to die from something else like Toby - who was an uneutered Tom cat from Woodstock Ontario Canada. Toby lived the bachelor lifestyle, out partying every night and returning home in the daylight hours for food. When he got wet FIP he survived due to the ministrations of his owner, homeopathy and a change of diet (he stopped Taste of the Wild dry food and the pokeweed prescribed by a naturopath amongst other things); Toby fast tracked from having a FIP belly drained in August 2011 to normal function, including the partying, by September a few weeks later. He had places to be and cats to see - ladies to romance, guys to fight I guess and in April 2012 walked off into the night, sporting a swollen leg from an encounter of the 007 kind, never to be seen since by his human, Monika.

There was similar kitty, known only to me as "29" who was one of the original cats on the Polyprenyl Immunostimulant study. 0029 had dry FIP with neurological symptoms, who during treatment got well enough to get back to the killing business but met his match in a coyote. "when he was sick he was hanging around the house, once he started feeling better, it was hunting again, it was bringing little presents to the owners on a regular basis." ~  Dr Legendre WINN Feline Symposium transcript

But of course I am the eternal optomist. Unlikely things happen such as Miko the red burmese being reunited at the grand old age of 17 with his family in Essex, UK after a staggering ten years AWOL thanks to his microchip. Who knows, Toby is merely MIA he may reappear into Monika's life somewhere down the road.

from humortrain

Frank

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's learning to dance in the rain. " ~ unknown

This is Frank, a three legged Canadian alley cat who is going through treatment with PI for dry FIP.

Frank has started PI back in April 2011 on the Winn Foundation Study by Dr. Legendre. Here's his new family's report from Jan 2013.

"In the summer of 2008 Frank was found in an alley by some very kind people. He was taken to a vet clinic as a very sick little boy with a fractured hind leg that was very infected, unfortunately they could not afford to care for the kitten and relinquished him to the clinic for care. The vet clinic took excellent care of this little boy setting his leg and nursing him back to health. 

Soon after he was well enough to leave the clinic we were asked to foster him. Frank came into our home with a cast on his back leg but full of energy. We had 4 dogs at the time but he fit right in, he soon became the boss of the house. Soon after his cast was removed Frank began to limp again. He was brought into the clinic to investigate and it was discovered that the infection had spread to the bone and the only solution was to remove the leg. After his surgery he returned to our home, by now we couldn't imagine life without him and the decision was made to make him a permanent part of our family. He was as active and playful as ever even playing with our miniature schnauzers. 

In the winter of 2011 we noticed that Frank had lost weight and brought him to the clinic for examination. He was diagnosed with dry FIP. Thinking it was a death sentence for him we were prepared for the worst but desperately looked into treatment options. Dr.Kremeniuk at Park Pet Hospital found out about a drug trial for cats afflicted with this terrible disease and Frank was accepted into it. Since he has been on the PI he has returned to his normal self and we are so happy! Frank loves to go camping with us in the summer, he wears a harness and eagerly explores the campsite. He is so loved by the whole family and we are so grateful for PI giving him a second chance at life. He is a fighter and is determined to live as long as he can. Thank you Dr.Sass and everyone involved with PI for saving his life".

I'm not yet sure if Frank is still on the PI and at what dose. He's been through a lot and he's obviously determined to enjoy life to the full - thanks to his wonderful new family and vets for giving him that chance! Goodluck to you Frank.

FIP is a rollercoaster

"Being diagnosed with a serious illness can seem like a roller coaster ride; scary, up and down, out of control.
Remember, the following is also true of roller coasters:
1. It's less scary with a friend
2. If you stay on the ride to the end you won't get hurt
3. It's okay to scream"

~ borrowed from a post by Overcoming Multiple Sclerosis

As you can see I hate rollercoasters and so does Michael - the others are 007 cool with it which may have something to do with differing levels of reaction to having a terminally ill kitty.

1. Yes much less scary with a friend - Mother/son bonding is a little known benefit of having a fippy cat.
2. Not sure about point 2 - one can step off the ride at any time by euthanizing cats (but not humans yet in australia) It goes smoothly for some but others have had a traumatic time, notably if the cat freaks out at the vets and tries to scramble back into the kitty carrier or dies with its eyes open. There are misdiagnoses - it is not easy to diagnose dry FIP and it is suspected many cats will be euthanized who may have recovered from some other self-limiting illness - or fail to receive the correct treatment
3. aaaarghhh!!!! Don't automatically expect understanding from your friends, or nearest and dearest. Even those with pets have been known to utter "It's only a cat!" Note the use of IT. Use the padded cell of cyberspace and do your screaming in a dedicated FIP support forum or facebook group.

The ups and downs of FIP are extreme. Mishka has earned the nickname 'Lazarus cat' - i have video evidence of resurrection.

A Long Ride

 

 On Friday last I was thinking "euthanase" as either her appetite was so poor (bad sign) or Mish was now the fussiest cat in the world in space - fussier even than the one pictured on the fussy-cat food which she is too fussy to eat. Fussiness v. inappetance is a good sign (expansion of vocabulary is another little known benefit of FIP in humans) But the universe took charge and sent our new vet away for the weekend so euthanasia was not possible till Monday earliest.

Plus she woke me with retching noises at 4 am yesterday. For a panic stricken moment I thought we were back at square one with a chest full of fluid (our acquaintance with FIP began with an early morning emergence vet visit after I mistook symptoms of suffocation for a hairball). Sat up with her a bit longer to be sure it really was a hairball this time and was so tired I forgot to turn off the grill before leaving the house.
The universe then saved us as my husband came home at lunchtime instead of having a chat with me at the health expo, due to a 'misunderstanding' and switched it off or I might have burnt house down and kitten up!
At dinner time I finally seized the bull by the horns ( poor Mish by the cheeks ) and syringed in some Lectade with Nutrigel and for good measure smeared a fingerful on her chin --> about a minute of unhappy vanilla flavoured cat. Some fish was offered to take away the yuk and HUZZAH she ate it!

claws moving human cushion back into place

Later I lugged the fippy little furball complaining out to the lounge room to watch tv with dad. Couch potato mode is actually classified as 'active' if you are a tired fippy cat because you are out socialising, snacking and grooming rather than buried in a furry heap alone in a bedroom feeling sorry for yourself. She got comfy on her favourite human cushion, Kevin McCloud showed us some nice houses while she polished off seconds, then tidied her fur and fell asleep - the picture of a contented kitty. Her breathing is not wheezy anymore - I even hauled out the baby stethescope to check. A nice big hairball on the carpet would have made us all even more happy!

Now i had to edit this post to tell the end of the story....

 

We had decided to drain her at home to prevent the extreme trauma she suffered from having this done twice before with two different vets and made preparations which were delayed by the receptionist from hell. This woman specialises in mucking me around, why I have no idea - first she said to come over and pick up the sedative, then when i show up instead made me book an appointment a few days later but when i arrived for that she claimed the vet didn't do appointments on that morning and he wasn't there - lies lies - he was out the back. So with a critically ill cat at home I  got yelled at and belittled, had to beg ,..... shaking and tearful I finally was given the required meds. It was almost too late.
Mishka was still happy and active though very full of fluid as it was now three not two weeks since her last drainage, ate a good lunch as she wasn't going to be drained until the evening. Husband came home to find she had vomited all the food and a small hairball but things didn't settle - she kept bringing up fluid. We suspected impacted hairball and she's no candidate for surgery - I REFUSED to lose her to a hairball! Frantic text message to a supportive vet, purchased catlax and shoved it in; the vomiting stopped overnight so we drained Mishka 400 mls and gave her subcut fluids /vitamin C. Afterwards she looked the best she had in a month. The upshot is that she will need draining perhaps every two weeks unless we can get control of the inflammation leading to the effusion.

Still on the ride.....